you will probably never read this but ill write it anyways...you wrote the most beautiful eulogy...i would never have expected it from you...you are the person that changed my thinking; taught me that people are bad...that some people are malicious and callous and incapable of feeling...that what they say they feel is just part of an act that theyre playing to achieve their own objectives...that though all people are some bad and some good, some are much more bad and much less good and those are people that you should always stay away from....
then why do i feel so sad to know that you sufferred a loss...i find my hatred for you melting away...you are good ....i hope you remember that...i hope i remember it too....i am sorry for your loss....you didnt deserve it... 

vagina monologues

The play is truly outrageous! Its so detailed and graphic that it even made me, who I consider to be one of the most liberal minded and unconservative women around, blush with embarassment. I mean wow! It started out talking about women who orgasm early and are ashamed of it...then it recounts the tale of a wife whose used to shave her vagina (something she hated) to please her husband so that he wouldnt cheat on her (but he did anyway)...it discusses everything from rape to childbirth, even bringing in a lesbian experience. There were discussions about what the vagina would wear or speak about....there were discussions about moaning and the different types of moans...It encouraged playing with yourself and getting in touch with your sexuality...I mean this was a very scandalising and, in your face, play.

The message was loud and clear: women, be proud of your sexuality and do not take shit from a guy!

I have met plenty of amazing women in ISB. Women who had zero bullshit tolerance, mountains of pride and self confidence levels that would give Hercules a run for their money. In ISB, women weren't afraid of anything.

But now I am back in the real world and I see that it is not so. I recently met this girl. She has just gotten married and she says her whole life has changed. Her inlaws dont allow her to wear western clothes or even visit her parents very often. She cant pursue her hobbies and adehere to all the rules and regulations of her husband's family...

Another girl told me that her father never used to like his children much because they were three daughters. Initially, she explained, that he was always unhappy and never used to want to be around. But later as time went on and the three girls all found good jobs and got married, he started loving them more and was proud of them. She seems so proud that her father loves her now and Im just not sure of what to make of it...

All i know is that I am definitely not going to waste or take for granted, the luxury that being part of the S1 category of society, has granted me. I may not be the seventies hippie girl from vagina monologues but Im not going to constantly try to drag myself down to the vistorian era either because i feel it may be more appropriate!!.... :)    
   

health care management

I sometimes I had wished that I had utilised ISB better. Today is one such day! The Indian medical devices industry is slated to be the next biggest thing after IT (albeit according to TOI chennai) and I work in it! And there was a really great course in ISB called Innovations in Healthcare. Guess who cant even remember a word of it? Why cant we add health care management as a major in the ISB curriculum. Wharton has it!

Even the marketing electives were useful. But guess who stopped studying as soon as they got a job? Why is it that everyone I spoke to at the time states that marketing in real life is different from marketing in theory? Its not different at all. You can still utilise all the concepts you learned. And its true even real life marketing is becoming more and more quant heavy.

All I can say is that if, by any chance, you are reading this blog and are still in B school, pay close attention to all you learn, it truly comes in handy! :)

why do you want a US visa

Whats the matter with this country, really??  I went to the US embassy to get my visa and watched as two people in front of me got their US visas rejected. They actually begged and implored the visa officer to change her mind, which she of course didnt, saying "my decision is final" in her clangy disgusting american accent. So if India is the growth story, why isnt anyone looking to cash in on it? Why are the lines at embassies like the US, which has a freaking 9% unemployment rate, still so fucking long?

Why indeed? So, I came out of the embassy feeling damn patriotic and all..And decided to take an auto back to South Ex. "Bhaiya, south ex jana hai".. "haan madame Rs 200" !!!??!!! WTF!! Thats like Rs 150 more than how much it costs! Where do you even get off asking for something that ridiculous? No wonder everyone is looking at leaving this place. This place where an Indian rips off another Indian without a heartbeat!

the perfect lover

The title is a myth, right? WRONG!! There r some people who can be the perfect lovers. They kiss you at the right time, give you the perfect amount of space, hold you "just right" just when you need it, listen to you like they truly care, gives you the perfect apology which makes the wrong doing almost worth it to receive such a grandiose gesture; is jealous just when it counts and will make an impression... They come right out of story books and fairy tales..sometimes combined...maybe a Heathcliff (depressed and unhappy but makes it seem like ure the only thing that shines in his abyss); or Wolverine (who tells everyone to fuck off except for Jean because she is special and he will love her forever because she is the one)...  So whats the problem right? If you meet a guy like that then havent you hit the jackpot? WRONG!

I believe that perfect lovers exist but I believe that they r the way they r because they treat it like a job or a hobby that they r looking tp perfect...Its really easy if you think about it...Whats the skill, just a "good", correction, "great" understanding of the female psyche...and then just like any other job that becomes routine, the perfect lover gets bored. He gets bored and then looks for a new job or some variation...Or just that, since its a job then its routine and not magnificent to him...then he either lives with it or doesnt or topsies turvies between the two states of mind....

Thus, Ive decided that the perfect lover is actually the "imperfect" lover...the man who doesnt say the right thing; kisses like he could definitely use some more practice; listens like he is completely and utterly unaware of the female psyche; hugs clumsily in perhaps a suffocating manner..maybe those r the ones we should all be looking out for...the guy who is definitely NOT perfect, not romantic, not magnetic by any means but is who he is and will love you the way he loves you..this may not be ideal butit may be reality and atleast it isnt a job he is trying to perfect..he is just being himself....

Fair enough!  

confused

We all know that happiness is hard to come by....so how do you achieve it....So have you heard the sayings: "always shoot for more"; "never settle for the status quo"; "dare to be different"...Now have you heard the sayings: "be grateful for what you have"; "make the best of what you have"; "live with it life isnt perfect"..Isnt it all a bit contradictory...i mean is it really realistic for always be dreaming for more while making the best of what you have....i mean isnt the pursuit of superiority while accepting mediocrity already a paradox...

I completely understand that there is a fine balance blahblah blah....but who achieves it really? has laxmi mittal with his rivers of money achieved it..i mean last i heard he was working out to replicate amir khan's body in ghajni...he was surely a little unsettled, looking around for "something more" even if not strictly unhappy, even after achieving his business goals....

truth is that i met an old friend from ISB who made me realise something weird...daring aspirations, dreams, the pursuit for perfection; it can, albeit for some people, be the root cause of unhappiness...the search or quest itself can leave one completely and utterly unfulfilled...

its like you have a certain standard of living and then you dare to dream and want and desire.... then you work hard and move abroad and get the perfect job...and realise that u still essentially feel like shit..so u go for the gold again and decide that you want to do more with your life and move back to india and do social work and thats fine for a while....then u start feeling uneasy again as if there is definitely more to life than even this and you go and work towards achieving yet another new, more "seemingly" fulfilling goal.....and so on and so forth....

So then isnt it just best to be content with whatever you have? just make do with status quo? Is it the people who are modest, moderate and essentially mediocre who will find happiness in the long run...maybe its an illusion they create for themselves out of the temperate calm waters in their own mind but all said and done; isnt whats real to you, real to you?



       

written by a blogless friend :)

I keep pondering every day, looking for validation if what I feel for you is love, and if it is why do I love you, and not anyone else. The more I analyze, the more I am stumped. I think of all the little things you do that make me happy – from the way you stare at me, to the way you kiss me, the way you touch me , the way you make me laugh, and I think to myself that why I don’t feel the same ecstasy when someone else does all these things.

I wonder why when you say something it hurts to a point that it becomes physical pain, but when someone else does the same it doesn’t even ruffle a single hair on me. And sometimes I wonder if I gave you this power to rule over me, or do I not have any control because this is love.

But what I do know is that the pain is terrible, and is love really worth it, to feel that kind of pain. Will love ever only be happiness, or will it always be accompanied by its favorite friend pain. And at what point does the pain become your friend and love becomes completely worth it, and what point does pain become your enemy and love fade away.

So now I ask everyone out there who has ever been in love, and has experienced a love which is mutually exclusive of pain. Or am I just another cynic trying to find out if love truly exists, or is it just a state of mind we create for ourselves so that we may validate happiness and pain in our lives. Are we all truly delusional, or is there a feeling truly called love that we have no control over.

Something to think about!!!!

sex and ISB

It took 2 glasses of wine and a bitch of a day to finally write this post!!!

ISB had , in addition to a rigourous workload, loads of partying, and placement frenzy, a LOT to do with sex! A friend rightly pointed out in an inebriated state, " I am glad ISB ended, it was becoming a brothel"! Yikes!!

While married men started enjoying their new found freedom, those in committed relationships started doubting whether their partner was truly "the one". Those who had been hurt in the past by their steady lovers decided  it was time to move on to greener pastures. Single men and women simply reaped the benefits of a new renovated pool of choices.

People were jumping in and out of windows, hiding under beds when a roommate came, arising out of bushes without a viable excuse, and getting caught smootching in romantic places like the rooftop garden (not much iof a garden really).

Some were and ARE deliriously happy with the choices they made! Others are hurt because all the "fucking" simply left them "fucked over". And then there are those that simply went back to their old partners as if nothing happened, not unlike a bathroom break during a movie!

As another friend rightly stated referrring to the topic, "ISB leaves noone unscathed"!!

Why is this really?

Id love to provide a profound answer in this blog. After all, why else would I be writing it! But truth is I DONT KNOW!! I can think of a number of reasons, work load, loneliness, new found penchant for alcohol, advice to step out of the comfort zone taken too literally...the list can go on and on.....

All in all, its sad really in a way...when you collect the data and put it in a generalised way, love in ISB comes out seeming quite unromantic and trite....

HOWEVER, I am sure that for some, love in ISB was just that: LOVE IN ISB! not SEX IN ISB as my blog states! maybe the affair was a secret...maybe you had to work hard to keep it a secret, harder than an investment analysis final...maybe it ended in nothing....maybe it was all easy to forget and move on from... but maybe just maybe inspite of all that, it was in fact love and NOT just sex!!! :)

ethics, business and wrong side drivers

In B school you come across terms like business ethics and corporate social responsibility quite a lot. I remember doing a certain case study which had you decide between selling a faulty product at the cost of jeapordising lives or not selling the product and losing out on sales revenues. At the end of it, only 2 teams actually opted for the former option: selling the product though it would risk lives.

However, if you think about it, its really easy to come up with the "appropriate" conclusion in  a case study but how many of us actually have an truly ethical, corruption free bent of mind?  Oh come on, I think weve all slipped a Rs 100 note in the pocket of a policeman to avoid paying a fine for some wrongdoing or other.

I guess thats why this weekend was quite a refreshing change for me! I met an old ISB classmate who actually put his money where his mouth is! :) seriously, this guy was on a one man crusade. From stopping vehicles that were travelling in the wrong direction on a one way road and taking pictures of their licence plates to ensuring that none of us drove drunk, he was really on a roll! He is not even on facebook due to his allegiance with google and his loathing for Marc Zuckerberg's underhanded ways!

Honestly speaking, his behavior seemed borderline ridiculous at times but thats just the point!!!! Even after 20 lakhs and one year of ethics, and corporate spocial responsibility, we still feel least inclined to make a difference. In fact, when someone tries to do the right thing, we feel its an aberration!

 WHOA HOLD IT!!! So lets go back to the paying off the corrupt policement once again! What is going to ensure that you, who are now just paying off a policeman, wont eventually extend the chalta hai attitude to noting that a product may have a 1% probability of causing injury and just approving the product right along. "Chalta hai yaar, production mat band karo 1% hai sirf"...not so unlike "yaar eki to red light jump kara Rs 100 lelo"!

So as i get ready to go to work, I have decided to start small, start early...wrong side drivers beware!!!

revisiting ISB

I will soon, in about 6 hours, be getting on a flight to revisit the exact place that this blog has originated from! Am I excited, well definitely! I am curious to see what it will be like seeing the campus from the eyes of a person whose head is finally set firmly on their shoulders, well somewhat atleast! I am not sure why but the desire to go back has been building up momentum in my system for some time now.

Truth is I had a hard time in ISB...Dont get me wrong i have many fond memories from the place, but I somehow couldnt rise above this one incident that occurred there....yup it was a boy...pretty trivial huh?..i completely and wholeheartedly agree! With people starving, being raped and murdered and all sorts of sordid things, a boy was the reason I cried or atleast felt seemingly profound grief!!!???###**

You know at this point, id like to quote Elizabeth Gilbert "There were these refugees from Cambodia that my friend had to counsel. She was worried about how she could possibly counsel them on the horrifying ordeals they had gone through in terms of rape, murder, being left homeless etc. But when the refugees came into her room they didnt want to discuss all that. Their complaints were things like 'i was in love with a guy and my cousin stole hi from me blah blah"

So, I'd like to think I m not alone in feeling bad about trivial miseries! HMPH!

But going back to the point, I am revisiting a place in my past, which held some painful memories for me. And I cant help but think that my most important takeaway is that:

It may not stop hurting today, it may not stop hurting tomorrow, but the day will come when it will stop hurting and you ll be able to revisit the past and not feel anything!

ISB walks

The ISB campus is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited in India. With wide, sprawling landscaped lawns and lush nooks and corners you can escape to when you just want to be alone, its truly a scenic treat. When in college, i used to take a lot of walks. Some of these, much to the dismay of my closest friends, were in a state of complete inebriation. i used to simply walk rounds and rounds of the ring road listening to soft slow romantic songs on my ipod, yes, half drunk!!!! Yes, it was totally a healthier form (trust me walking rounds of the ring road was definitely a calorie burner) of wallowing in self pity but I truly miss it!

There were sad walks: walks taken while endlessly analysing and dissecting why the boy i loved couldnt quite make up his mind between me and his other lover (dont ask)

There were happy walks: walks taken while congratulatiing myself on a project well done or an awarde won or receiving a noteworthy praise from a noteworthy classmate!

There were taking a stand walks: walks taken while telling myself to finally take a stand on something and make sure I dont go back on it

So many walks...

But i guess the walks i remember most were the ones that i took with another, sharing views, arguing heatedly, or just walking silently taking comfort from each other's presence...walking home with a friend after a study group meeting, walking back with the boy i liked after a party, walking with a visiting girlfriend to just show her the sites in ISB, walking with whiskey cup in hand with a friend discussing whether the girl he is dating right now is truly "the one".....

ISB: walks to remember  :)

loneliness: emotional hypochondria

Its really difficult for me to admit that I was lonely in ISB. Of course my closest friends know this as they have heard me complain about it over and over again. But to put it up on a public platform like this one! Honestly, I am just writing this in case someone stumbles upon it. A someone who is also in a college setting with 500 other kids, but still just feels painfully alone.

I remember walking to my quad at night alone. Coming home and turning on the light to an empty room. Making Maggie in the kitchen, just craning my ears and hoping that one of my quadmates would come home at that moment, run into me and keep me company for a little while.

I truly respect and admire people who can return to an empty room without any qualms. I certainly had a tough time doing so. Perhaps, I still have those qualms.

Having lived at home and always returned to a full house, I suppose I was spoilt.

Many of you will probably wonder why I couldn’t just go to a friend’s house, if I felt that bad about it! Its true, I could have. But the difference between friends and family is that you cant impose on the former. Maybe you can, and I truly hope that you can, but I never felt like I could. Too many inhibitions I suppose.

 Anyways, in term three, I thought I found a solution to the problem. Again, very difficult to admit on a public forum. What was it? Well, I thought the best thing would be to find a partner, a boyfriend of sorts. Why? Because, traditionally lovers tend to spend a lot of time together and if they are not physically together then they are usually connecting in some way through the phone, chat or some such modern communication device. Moreover, and this is important, you can take quite a lot of liberties with your lover! You are not likely to impose on them since they, well love you, and should want to be with you anyways. Right?!

WRONG! This was my first major mistake in ISB and I will remember this for the rest of my life.

Loneliness is not a disease that requires some sort of medicine/solution (boyfriend, friend, family). Don’t get me wrong, a hug is nice now and then and important for a healthy state of well being. But, loneliness is just a state of imagination. It’s a belief that you need something that you don’t actually need. Its emotional hypochondria!

You are designed to be alone, to survive alone and most importantly be happy alone. You really don’t need to find anyone else for it. Infact, if that is the reason you are dating someone right now or going on endless social excursions then it is equivalent to taking medicines for a disease that you do not have.

The best way to rid yourself of loneliness is to stop believing that such a state of mind can exist because it is actually truly not real!  

party planning: a noble affair

Party planning: A Noble Affair

In term 2, I opted to be the student life council representative for my section. Truthfully, I did it because a) I thought it would add color to my cv and b) I was under-confident that I would not get into the core councils of any of the key clubs (namely consulting club). So since the position was uncontested, I thought, why not. Besides after a week of hearing that one should step out of their comfort zone, I think I got somewhat brainwashed as well.

So how was the experience? Again, the harsh truth—painful. Stepping out of ones comfort zone is immensely uncomfortable, to say the least! I found myself organizing cake after cake for birthday after birthday that would fall very unstrategically on days before exams. I could almost never get sleep the night before a party since there were n number of things that could go wrong and the thought of 50 odd unsatisfied section mates, who were unhappy primarily because I couldn’t manage to throw a good event together was extremely nerveracking. Being responsible for ensuring that enough people participated in section sports was also hard since I myself am least interested, note uneducated, in sports!

But, the feeling when a party went off well or when I turned on my computer and was inundated with thank you mails was truly unbeatable. I still remember this one time when I organised a cake for a section mate’s birthday and there was a great turnout (he had a lot of friends) and he said “this is my first birthday away from my family thanks a lot guys”. Damn, it felt good!

All I know is that event management is perceived to be a not so prestigious profession. Definitely not in the ranks of say social work, or being a doctor. But all in all, you do get to make a difference, a non-monetary difference. You do get to elevate emotions and maybe make someone’s day. Or enable someone to go home with a couple more happy memories to fight the drudgery of their mundane lives!

So here is to you student life council, thanks to you, someone will have a story to narrate about the first time they drank at an ISB party or the first time they kissed a boy on the dance floor or the first time they really truly let their hair loose! J

the date auction

Did you know ISB had a date auction party? Pretty cosmopolitan eh? I mean, Ive seen movies, Im talking about the US teeny bopper shows like Saved by the Bell or Full house, that have featured date auctions, but never a real lIfe date auction! A part of me really really wanted to do it. And a part of me really didn't. Being auctioned I mean. But seriously hats off to all the girls and boys that actually went ahead and did it. I mean standing up there and being valued, literally valued!! THAT TAKES A LOT OF COURAGE!

I remember the first girl attracted something like Rs 4000, whIch is quite a bit if ure on a student budget if you ask me. But the second girl, she got Rs 8,000!! So, I was standing there and I wondered is the first girl was feeling bad that she was essentially valued at half the price of the other girl? One girl was valued at Rs 11,500!!!

So how were these valuations made? To be honest, it had a lot to do with how many friends you had made by then. I believe one guy was forced into bidding for a girl, he was "not even remotely interested in" which was just controversial and weird and not so cool!

But watching the girls that night, I felt nothing but the utmost respect for women who were so confident of their own self worth that any number ANYONE ELSE attached to them would not phase them in the least bit! thats what B school confidence is all about! No matter what other people think, you know ur own worth and r not afraid to stand up be valued by others and then be able to go home with your own self valuation still intact.

Coming from a girl who would never have been able to pull off such a feat: HATS OFF LADIES! :)

Economics of Women

There is one definite plus about being a girl in ISB! Your market value rises significantly. Whhooooosssshhhh. What does that mean, you ask? Well, due to the 74:26 male-female ratio, each girl automatically becomes more attractive and subsequently more valuable, a very sought after commodity. It is the demand supply equation. High demand coupled with low supply increases the price of the product. Well extend this funda to the situation in ISB and you essentially have a situation where a bunch of average looking women have been catapulted to supermodel status!

So, you can just imagine what happens to a girl who is actually really significantly beautiful. Well there was was one such girl. She was undoubtedly absolutely gorgeous! Tall, fair, light eyed, long silky browish black hair....And the cherry on the cake was that she knew how to dress. She was a typical "Delhi"girl! Carrying her Louis Vitton bag (yes somehow it did manage to fit in all her books, course packs etc), pedicured feet adorned with Prada chappals and donning her gucci/chanel sunglasses on her head, she looked like she was ready for Ayesha Thappar's garden party.

But yet, here she was, in her full glory, a treat for all the men of ISB. A walking talking aphrodisiac. 

Now going back to the supply-demand equation, you can only imagine what HER market value would be like. The Kohinoor of ISB. :)

The Kodak case: definitely NOT a kodak moment

Assignment: Develop a marketing strategy for Kodak Films, which is losing market share!

Tarun. Tarun. Tarun. Aaaauuuggghhhh. He speaks and frustration prevails! This is the one thought that kept going round and round in my head. Exactly who is this Tarun, you may be wondering! Well, he was my study group mate. A silver medallist from IIT Kharagpur, he is definitely someone you will read about in a couple years in some business magazine. the headline will read "Youngest CEO turns around company" or something like that.

BUT THAT REALL WASNT THE POINT THAT NIGHT!!! He droned on and on, ok, rather sped on at the speed of lightening with his calculations. "So, the break even is this xyz xyz xyz. Right you guys." 

We all looked on aghast. Each study group has 5 people. Somehow, ISB ensures that in this group of 5, they put in one, "calculator", basically a super brain who can pull the study group through even in the hardest fo subjects. Essentially in hard core quant subjects, the calculators of the class go up against each other, dragging their study groups, or support systems along. Our calculator was Tarun.

"you have 3 IItians in your study group!", an alumni had exclaimed when he heard the composition of my study group. Besides tarun, my study group comprised shukti (IIT-female-married), sanjeev (IIT-male-committed to both girlfriend and spirituality) and Rajat (non IIT-male (resembling bear)-committed). Tarun was himself IIT-male-brilliant-annoying-committed (yes shockingly enough there was a girl out there who actually understood what this guy was saying ). Sadly enough, at this point I definitely didnt!

Honestly, the bitterness was coming out largely from the fact that I just did not get it! And looking around, out of my 3 IITians, my beacons of hope that would guide me one day to the path of glory, only one was talking.

Shukti, wide eyed was asking doubt after doubt. Now this was downright confounding since I had to struggle to understand the doubt in additon to everything else! EEks! Sanjeev seemed to be following since he would actually make points that Tarun, the self proclaimed leader, didn't brush off ( unlike me who could say no sense apparently). Jealous, I thought perhaps tarun was favoring him since they had the IIT bit in common. Rajat seemed somewhat disconnected but The Self Proclaimed Leader was also nodding at him when he made points. Jealous again, I thought perhaps Tarun was favoring him since he was, well I dont know, male. (i know i was totally running out of excuses) Hmmppphhhh :(
.
All I knew about the Kodak case that night was that it was definitely NOT a picture perfect moment for me. CLICK!!!!

    

"i live here" "no you don't"

4 hours and 4 drinks (i am honestly not sure about this :P) later, Kunal and i finally decided to head home from 08 lounge. "Lets try out the shortcut" he says. HE SAYS!!! This detail later gets ommitted when the story gets retold! 

Kunal: aww bye sweetie, will you be fine (gives hug)
Suparna: of course, for sure, thanks, ill see you tomorrow morning
Kunal: Ok bye (walks out)

Suparna tries to unlock the door with her key. The hole seems to have changed in size. She vaguely recalls one of her quadmates stating that the keys are all acting up and not working properly. Tired and annoyed, she goes out to find help. She spots kunal walking back!

Kunal: hiii, is everything ok sweetie?
Suparna: my key is not working.
Kunal: Thats ok, Ill come with you, there is a trick to it.

Kunal tries door to no avail. The duo go to get more help. They spot a drunk classmate, Vinayak!

Suparna: Vinayak, can you help us. the key is not working.
Vinayak: Yaya, I'll come with you, there is a trick to it.
Kunal rolls eyes.

Vinayak tries door to no avail. The trio now wake up the security guard.Sleepy eyed, he walks to the apartment with the master key. He starts jiggling and playing with the key and the lock still stands its ground. He looks at the door with some suspicion and then looks at us then back at the door with more definace.

Then suddenly, the door opens.

It is pitch dark but there is a sillhouette of a man standing.

Suparna: screams loudly aauuuggghhhh
Switching on the light, a tallish south indian boy with an international accent says: what is going on
Suparna: what are you doing in my room?
South Indian boy with international accent: no, it isnt this is the room I was allotted!
Suparna: didnt you see my luggage everywhere
South Indian boy with international accent: there was nothing when I came here, look; opens door wide. this is my quad I-11.
Suparna: this is mine also, I-11.

Vinayak (interjecting): Suparna, errr, um, which student village are you in?
Suparna (confidently): Student Village 2 (there are 4 student villages of whch student villages 2 and 3 have an idential layout)

Vinayak: Suparna, lets go!

Moral of the story: Be wary of shortcuts :)

the party

Imagine being jampacked in a 1.5 acre region with 600 students mulling around. Imagine trying to get a drink from the bar with 2 bartenders. (Well that actually turned out to be relatively simple since it seemed that 90% of the class were teetolers). How is that even possible, i thought to myself. how can people converse with absolute strangers and "make friends" with such ease. I was clearly missing something. 

Having walked there with Kunal, however, I was feeling comfortable. The cheap plastic cup of wine, aided the easing up process.  The walk to the party 08 lounge had been lengthy though but we had discoveerd a shortcut that we could use on the way back :) The party's theme was back to school (mystery solved). But by then my white shirt was sweat soaked (humid hyderabad, something like windy chicago) so i had changed.

Wine in right hand, i was charged up and ready to start making some friends! There were people from Delhi that I knew through other people. To tell you the truth, everyone in delhi probably knows everyone else in Delhi through someone. Its a bit disdturbing actually but c'est la vie and the link gives you a talking point.

There was Rohaan, who was my friend's well sort of secret boyfriend. There was Saad, who went to college with a friend of mine, who I went to high school with and there was Akshay whose girlfriend I had gone to college with for a year!

Summing up my first impressions from what i remember:
Rohaan: good looking in a ranbir kapoor sort of way, nice guy, boy next door
Saad: good looking in a will smith sort of way, warm, friendly, FUN
Akshay: good looking in a  robert pattinson kind of way, 

the intersrting thing about Akshay is that he brings his own liquor (black label) to party because of "inability to drink this cheap shit" !!!!

(In case you want to know how he manages it, he hides it behind a rock and goes to the back and takes periodic swigs.)

So at this point ure probably wondering, was I interested in any of them?  I should have probably mentioned at the beginning that they ALL had girlfriends.


Besides that, before coming to college I had developed a checklist of what I wanted my next boyfriend to be like.  

Looks: Somewhat important but not really
Degrees: Preferably an IITian, solid resume
Hobbies/interests: Preferably sporty but not necessary. However must have something else to occupy his mind apart from just work and socialising
Social behavior: Partially reclusive, few good friends, is NOT a "party person"
Vices: Drinking and smoking allowed but no drugs and no MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED gentlemen
Overall pluses: non attention seeking behavior  

Look, i said i developed it. I rarely follow my own checklists in any case. :) :) :) And in any case, The One doesn't enter the picture till third term and thats still a few posts and a few memories away.

"back to school" or maybe not

So the dean's address was scheduled to start around 7:00 pm. Surprise surprise, yours truly was late. In fact, so late, that I missed the entire speech and huffing and puffing reached the atrium (the centre, main building, sort of like the nucleus of a cell) just in time to see lengthy lines for a buffet dinner. I was thirsty, tired, sweaty and dresssed in my back to school outfit, comprising of a white button down shirt and a denim skirt. Well, it was supposed to be cute and sexy and if I had a tie, i would have worn it completing the look.

First bombshell! Noone and I mean not a soul was wearing a back to school, or seemingly back to school, or anything to do with a school outfit. it was just me! Well, its ok i thought, its a cute outfit, I look cute its all good :)

Shock numero deaux, no girl (out of the few girls that were even there, the ratio was clearly sordid) was wearing anything short even resembling a skirt. In fact, mine were the only bare legs in the atrium...Oh no, wait, there was one more. I sighed in relief. The girl was wearing a floral printed dress and her legs were in full view, taking maybe some (maybe all since her legs were curvy and shapely and very attractive in plain terms) of the attention of off mine! She turned around and I realised that it was quaddie number two, the snobby one, Srishti. But, snobby or not, I was glad she was there, thank goodness.

I joined a line, hoping to spot someone I would recognise. Actually i can be more specific. My friend Kunal had also joined ISB and I was looking to catch up with him.

Thats typical me behavior, by the way, looking for familiar ground rather than exploring uncharted territories, inspite of knowing that I will eventually have to do it anyways. Its also a sure fire way to make only a limited number of friends and that too after some considerable length of time. 

I thought of trying to speak to the chap in front of me. He seemed like a nice enough fellow standing quietly and tapping his spoon lightly against the plate. But I just couldn't open up. Whast if he thinks the thing i say is strange? What if he is annoyed by my intrusion of his spoon tapping? Anyways the food is right around the corner so might as well just wait it out. :)

I needed alcohol. What can i say, i am socially challenged?

first impressions

Landing at 5 pm was the first mistake. If anyone from any future class of ISB is reading this, then just remember to take an early flight so you can reach college at a decent hour, say around noon. This will actually give you time to settle in, register, grab some lunch, catch your breath and generally avoid running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

So this was my state on the first day of college. It all started with me missing my registration because I was too late. Being the worry wart that I am, I actually ended up brooding over the possibility that since I hadn't completed my registration, I may not be allowed to complete it, since I was clearly an irresponsible student who couldnt reach college on time, and subsequently be sent home. Hey, but thats me and my shockingly simple thought process :P!

Neveretheless, i got a room and set about unpacking. My first encounter with student kind was one of my three quadmates, a girl named Priyanka. She was tall and attractive, I noted with a hint of jealousy. She had one of those quiet, pleasent demeanors, which men usually found attractive. Shedding off my delhi bitchiness, baggage that I had told myself I would definitely leave behind, I gave her a bright hello in return! And then. Out came her mother. HER MOTHER!!!! I said namaste, guiltily thinking about the packet of cigarettes that I had purchased. I immediately got tensed trying to figure out whether the MOTHER was planning to live with us for a long period of time. I peeked in and saw a mattress that had clearly made itself at home in Priyanka's room.

 "There is a dinner today. the dean's dinner," Priyanka said interrupting my thoughts. "there seems to be some sort of theme to it, a back to school theme." "I got a fleeting vision of Priyanka's mother in a back to school outfit shaking hands with the dean. yikes!!

My second shock came with my second quadmate. Her name was Srishti, although she barely opened her mouth to even let me know that. At this point, I seriously started contemplating retrieving my Delhi bitchiness. She was accompanied by a somewhat younger lookng chap. he was definitely the friendlier of the duo and explained something about the dean's dinner. Srishti just seemed to be organising something or unpacking something and didnt seem the least interested in any sort of civilised interaction! HMPH. Then the chap who had introduced himself as Manas said a polite "goodbye, see ya around" and walked in, slamming the door behind him. I heard a click, the sound of the lock!

Now this was a traumatising beginning. I was sharing a quad with a mother, a brother/husband and three girls. I was quite terrified to meet my final quaddie by this time since she was bound to have been accompanied by her grandfather going by my luck. This is not fair, I thought to myself, what about the bathroom situation?